Hello! and thank you for your enquiry into the Bright Animal Sex Center and Pleasure Palace.
Our company was founded on the belief that everybody deserves the best sexual experience available. Our watchword is the happiness, healthiness, creativity, safety, and enthusiasm of our employees and clients. We here at the BASC&PP pride ourselves on our years of practice, innovation, professionalism, and satisfaction. What can you expect from the BASC&PP?
--VARIETY. We believe in the individual. As such, we have an unparalleled range of choices for you and we love constantly expanding our horizons! We are proud to employ men and women, as well as people of more ambiguous gender, anatomy, and genetic makeup. We here at the BASC don't much cotton to limitation. Needless to say, we cater to all major sexual orientations, and not a few minor ones as well. (Please note: due to unanimous board decision, all employees are of legal age in the state in which they are employed. This is one of our very, very few inflexible points.)
--ENTHUSIASM. What do we at the BASC look for in our employees? Quite simply, we look for people who love what they do. We pride ourselves in employing the best, no matter what their area of specialty. Elaborate fantasies? Not a problem. Something you can't bring up in polite company? We specialize in that. Like to be immersed in Jell-O while watching a Filipino lady in a gas mask masturbate? Hell, we have a check box for that. We look forward to hearing your ideas. In the extremely rare case that we are unable to find an employee to suit your needs, there is someone at one of our other branches who can, and in most cases can be at your location within 48 hours (additional fees and travel expenses may apply).
--SAFETY. We here at the BASC realize that we are dealing with an inherently biological process and as such, certain risks may apply. That is why we have a cutting-edge medical facility, which serves to screen all potential diseases, viruses, and bacteria with ruthless efficiency and speed. To reiterate, we value the health of our clients and workers above all else. Upon admission to the BASC, you will be given a comprehensive blood, lymph, saliva, cerebro-spinal fluid, bone, and complexion scan from one of our state-of-the-art NCLEX 180B machines, in ten minutes or less. We promise that this will be minimally invasive. Unless you'd like it to not be. We really cannot stress enough that we are very accommodating.
--ACCESSORIES. All of the above is really just the tip of the iceberg. We are extraordinarily well-stocked in everything necessary to ensure a memorable experience. We have a warehouse full of devices that have all been scrupulously inspected, tested, and calibrated. (Seriously, we have Japanese ones that will do everything but your taxes.) If it can be molded, formed, cast, turned on, if it wiggles, vibrates, oscillates, pulses, strobes, swings, moves, jiggles, thumps, or swivels, we've got one.
--SETTING. We are proud to be the owners of a large, spacious facility. The contemporary design and modern amenities mean no crowding or rushing. Please consult the attached map for orientation purposes. (PLEASE NOTE: due to renovations on floor 17, Ruby's clientele has been temporarily relocated to suite 1535. Until structural reinforcements are complete, you may want to bring your own handcuffs and/or hex bolts. We apologize for any inconvenience).
If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact one of our representatives. We look forward to hearing from you.
